30 March 2008

Johnny Moronic

Watching Keanu Reeves' horrifically wooden monotone acting in Johnny Mnemonic wasn't the best way to get over Latics' result at Portsmouth. Every time we get beat I am confronted with some Hollywood drivel on Saturday night, with a pretty boy moaning and gurning in the most pitifully gruesome attempt at acting.

One couldn't help hoping that as 320 gigabytes of information were downloading into his neural network, his brain would explode, saving me from this patently amateurish attempt to transfer William Gibson's short story to celluloid. Unfortunately, the next 2 hours were spent with the 'baddies' attempting to remove his head to retrieve said data. Once they've removed it, perhaps they can give it to Ryan Taylor to boot over the Portsmouth bar. Why is he taking penalties anyway? He's only in the team as emergency cover.

An absurd end to an absurd day.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ryan Taylor is one of our better players, and a great set-piece taker.

Anonymous said...

If he's one of our better players, why isn't he in the team every week instead of just when we have injuries/suspensions?

He's not good enough.