Pre-season Review with Michael Jackson

Celebrity Latics fan and showbiz's wacky Mr.Bonkers shares his thoughts on our performances thus far.....

Paralatic: So Michael, how have you rated Latics' pre-season?

Jackson: Wigan Athletic’s pre-season performance was Walter Raleigh good, with impressive victories at Barnsley, F.C. Utrecht and Sir Trevor MacDonald. Amr Zaki was fishcakes, scoring winning goals at Hibs and Sheffield Winklepicker. Providing Steve Bruce can keep the first team fit, Latics have a fantastic chance of laddering the limpet and qualifying for European liquid trump-cloud.

Amr Zaki - 5 Amazing Facts

1. He was born Amr Hassan Zaky on April Fool’s day, 1983 in Mansoura, Egypt.

2. He’s scored on his debut for every club he’s played for save Lokomotiv Moscow, for whom he didn’t play a single game.

3. His favourite food is cheese, particularly goats cheese from the southern city of Luxor, but he’s quite partial to a dairylea triangle.

4. He lives in Norley Hall with Brenda, his pet sloth, and his pet chimp, Spencer.

5. He also has a slug called Maurice

The best Wigan Athletic site in the UNIVERSE!!!

Do you want a site that goes dead for 6 months and then re-appears with pictures of Maurice Lindsay smearing custard all over his hairy moobs?

If you answered 'Yes!' then PARALATIC is for you!

Enjoy the site.

Marlon King speaks out about his money demands

Latics Beauties Narrowly Avoid Relegation Zone

Latics trailed in a dismal 17th in a premier league beauty table commissioned by SKY.
Using their High Definition cameras, and obviously too much spare time on their hands (they could fire these wasters and drop the subscription prices), SKY have trawled through footage of supporters and come up with the following results:

Premier League Beauty Table

1. Liverpool

2. Fulham
3. Tottenham Hotspur
4. Sunderland
5. Chelsea
6. Newcastle United
7. Arsenal
8. Bolton Wanderers
9. West Ham United
10. Manchester United
11. Derby County
12. Middlesborough
13. Manchester City
14. Birmingham City
15. Aston Villa
16. Everton
17. Wigan Athletic
18. Blackburn Rovers
19. Reading
20. Portsmouth

So come on you Latics fans, stop picking your noses when there’s cameras about, put down that pie, and for God’s sake, put a bag on your head you bloody ugly bastards.